nocturnal gloom
Before I let my body to be embraced by the darkness, I'll watch a movie made out of my memories.
I'm standing there in front of the opened window, looking into the space, wind's playing with my hair and my tears are suddenly dry.
It's ridiculous how someone can be happy in a minute and than in another he's so broken, feeling like it will last forever.
I can not wait to die just because that happy moment when I'll see all the memories that made me smile, and than, I will smile once again, forgetting all the pain.
After all I wrote now and you've probably read it, may have arisen a question, if I really desire to die.
And the answer would be of course not, however I am not afraid of it, except one and only thing.
Sometimes I have this dream, laying in the bed all alone like I got used to. I am closing my eyes for the last time in my weird life and there's noone to hold my hand, thereafter I wake up with a tear in my eye. So I wipe that tear like the hundredth time before and open that window to take a breath, staring into the deep darkness as I mentioned at the beggining. It's so scary and soothing at the same time.
There are so many stars in the sky and I imagine that one of them is shining just for me. I come to look at it every night to be sure I am not already dead. Everytime I see that starry sky, I don't feel alone, despite the fact that I am.
By closing that window falls on my soul a shadow and I close my eyes as well to see that star with my cold heart.
I'm standing there in front of the opened window, looking into the space, wind's playing with my hair and my tears are suddenly dry.
It's ridiculous how someone can be happy in a minute and than in another he's so broken, feeling like it will last forever.
I can not wait to die just because that happy moment when I'll see all the memories that made me smile, and than, I will smile once again, forgetting all the pain.
After all I wrote now and you've probably read it, may have arisen a question, if I really desire to die.
And the answer would be of course not, however I am not afraid of it, except one and only thing.
Sometimes I have this dream, laying in the bed all alone like I got used to. I am closing my eyes for the last time in my weird life and there's noone to hold my hand, thereafter I wake up with a tear in my eye. So I wipe that tear like the hundredth time before and open that window to take a breath, staring into the deep darkness as I mentioned at the beggining. It's so scary and soothing at the same time.
There are so many stars in the sky and I imagine that one of them is shining just for me. I come to look at it every night to be sure I am not already dead. Everytime I see that starry sky, I don't feel alone, despite the fact that I am.
By closing that window falls on my soul a shadow and I close my eyes as well to see that star with my cold heart.
“But when the strong were too weak to hurt the weak, the weak had to be strong enough to leave.”
― Milan Kundera, The Unbearable Lightness of Being
― Milan Kundera, The Unbearable Lightness of Being
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